Well, since we're all having a wonderful exchange about relationships, and the typical stereotype male/female as seen by the opposite sex, I suppose there is a need for me to drop my own two cents into this. But of course, I won't go into the typical direction of retorting what jan or Mich, but instead touch on a common yet dreaded topic: The Friend Zone.
Yes, the very term that has even has a Wikipedia page dedicated to it. (Which, might be a worse form of Platonic Love, but that will be another topic for another day)
So, let's jump straight into the core of it, and help bless the clueless with amazing but useless knowledge, and answer the question of questions, What is the this mythical Friend Zone?
Firstly, I can assure you it is NOT mythical (Yours Truly can be considered a veteran of the Friend Zone). Secondly, as you may have already read from the other tome of mostly useless time-wasting knowledge...
The friend zone (or friendship zone) is a folk psychology concept found in many texts geared towards a male audience about "dating advice", or "seduction advice". In that case, that man would be mentally categorized as a "friend" rather than a lover, i.e. put into the friend zone.
In short, it's that one very moment, that single second that the thought "Oh shit, I am never going to get into her pants, but I will spend an eternity hearing from her how other guys try, and some succeed, to get into her pants" comes to mind. For some, it can take mere days, others, months. The timing by itself is an art unknown to man, a secret carved into the very DNA of women, and locked away from our prying eyes.
So the question remains... why?
I assure you, it is quite simple. Let's take a quick jab at it.
- She's just not interested - Sometimes, the spark is just not there. She finds herself being friends with you, able to get along with you, able to share with you. Just not able to make out with you. It's quite an anti Love-At-First-Sight and there's little to prevent it from happening.
- You took too long Speed it up. One of the major issues I've had, is just taking too long, hoping it will happen. Well, face the truth. Money does not fall from the sky, nor will she fall in your arms. Make your move. If she likes you, congrats. If not, at least you have your answer. Waiting will make her think you do not have interest, and even if she does like you, she'd move on, heartbroken. Hi ho silver.
- She's damaged goods Burned by other guys before. Maybe even fallen into the Friend Zone trap. Either way, she doesn't have trust in a real relationship, which is why she "Just wanna be friends." Give it up sparky, if you can heal her, by all means, do, but the time and effort, not worth it.
- Hello waterfish Sometimes, you can actually enter the zone long long before you realise it. They know it, of course, and they capitalize on it quite hardly. Shower them with gifts? Thanks. Gorge them in fine dining? Cool. Cross your fingers for a goodnight kiss, and maybe an invitation into her place for coffee? Just a peck on the cheek.
- You're missing that one single thing - How do we put this... bling bling? Pray for money to fall from the sky, or at least that the Matchbox collection of yours suddenly became real Ferraris.
Frankly, this is the deadliest of the lot, because they know they have you by the balls (Yes, I am quoting jan), and you, sadly, don't. Willing to go a thousand miles for someone just to return and see her in some other persons arm, while many deny, is a commonplace. Nice guys and gentlemens don't finish first always.
So how do we recover from booby trap that is the Friend Zone? Well, to be quite frank and honest, there is no recovery. Once you fall into that deathtrap, there is no recovery. Like they said, prevention is better than cure. Applies here as well. Identity the elements of the Friend Zone direction. And avoid like hell.
And if you really do get stuck there, keep telling yourself, at least it's better than nothing. It's the only consolation you have.
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