59th Post!!

Randomness

Things has been looking rather shitty for the past week or so..

Whether its not being able to cope with demands, to personal feelings, to trying to not lose the temper, to holding it in, to trying to fight the itch to smoke even after 7 months or trying to fight a personal dissatisfaction..

No matter what it is, after the fall..we shake it off..and move on.

But of all the listed things up there, I guess 'trying to fight a personal dissatisfaction' is actually the hardest thing to do, as compared to the rest of the things listed up there..

Put it in perspective

1) Cope with demands = you can just suck it up and do it..

2) Personal feelings = you can just suck it up and pretend nothing happened..

3) trying not to lose the temper = you can just don't entertain your anger..

4) holding it in = you really just need to hold it in..

5) fight the itch to smoke even after 7 months = you really just need will power to keep on saying no..

but as for 'trying to fight a personal dissatisfaction'..honestly there isnt really a way to just shake it off and move on..it was funny how dissatisfied you can get whenever you dont achieve something.

Saw a quote recently,

'You can't be in the game without a goal' = this is actually so fucking true..

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Randomness 2

Ever looked at someone in the eyes, and as they are speaking of you, you actually see disappointment?? I would say its not hard to spot if you actually pay enough attention to what was being said, how the sentence was formed and the words that was chosen, and more importantly the body language as they are speaking of you..

I have seen it a few times...once as the person was speaking of someone else, a few other times where friends are speaking of douchebags I dont give a fuck about, and a few times it was my turn..

Its not exactly thrilling to spot someone concealing their disappointment at you and at the same time the words uttered are contradicting their body language.

First time for me as the person spoke of me,

I spotted Alot of concealed disappointment and FUCKING ALOT of concealed hate

Of course during this time..I was devastated as hell and to spot all those was just another blow to the crotch

Which at this point..a friend of mine told me "You are sad..and its the first time I seen you this sad.."

Well after that there was another time which reminded me of the first time (just the disappointment part)..and I was sad because it has flashes of the first time...then as it goes on it just dawn on me...I was just dissatisfied..I really wasnt sad at all.. -.-

At this point my friend pointed out to me "Why is it when you speak of it..it sounds as though you are telling me a story of how you did not win a bowling competition you were in.."

I laughed..and I wasn't dissatisfied anymore thereafter..

So moral of the story..when you are dissatisfied..just laugh but of course, it must come with a so to speak Epiphany..